Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Man Tried To Literally Steal WiFi, Slimy Slugs Sabotage Street Lamps, and Actress Sued By Own Embryos

Iowa Burglar Arrested Trying To Steal WiFi Password


27-year-old Christopher Cummings of Iowa City really, really wanted to use his neighbor's WiFi.  So, when she refused to give him the password, he resorted to the next most obvious solution.  No, he didn't work hard, save money, and buy his own internet data, that would just be silly.

Instead, he broke into her home and attempted to steal the password, naturally.  Unfortunately, he proved as skilled a burglar as a hacker, and was caught and arrested for third degree burglary.

Perhaps a stint in the Big House will remind him that a trip to the local Starbucks would be a far simpler solution to getting online.



Redditch Slugs Leave Citizens In the Dark


Some residents of Redditch, England were plunged into darkness when local area slugs crowded so densely into lamp posts in Hunt End that they short circuited their makeshift homes.

Worse yet, repairmen from Western Power seemed in no particular hurry to fix the problem, stating it could be up to 20-days for repair... until a local resident called into the BBC Radio Hereford and Worcester to complain that children from a local school were being forced to walk home in the dark.

Engineers arrived at the site of the short circuit at 8:15 AM on a Saturday morning, and the lights were up and functioning in less than 2-hours.  Amazing how a bit of media exposure makes repair jobs happen so much faster, isn't it?



Sofia Vergara Sued By Her Frozen Embryos


Modern Family star Sogia Vergara is living a story too strange even for her own show, as her ex husband, Nick Loeb, has filed a lawsuit in Louisiana 'on behalf' of her two frozen embryos (which he fertilized), apparently already named 'Emma' and 'Isabella' (because this story wasn't creepy enough without naming the embryos, I guess).

Loeb, who feels he has twice been 'denied the right' to be a father by ex's who had abortions, is suing over a trust set up for the future children, despite the small complication of them not being gestated.  While the two did sign a contract, it specified that “neither party could use the embryos without the consent of the other”, an agreement which at present has not been violated.

Nor is this a new development.  Loeb previously filed suit in California, but the 'Left Coast' evidently wasn't too friendly to his desire to collect trust money on cryopreserved non-entities... you know, typical Liberal Agenda 'Pro Choice-Whether-Or-Not-To-Gestate' stuff.  So, as one will do in such situations, he's trying his luck in Red America, instead.

Hey, Donald Trump got elected, so weirder things have happened... maybe.